When Emotions Become Emotional

Right, so I was supposed to blog about sexism and Disney Princesses, but at the moment, I really really don’t want to.

At the moment my life feels like it’s hitting a downward spiral. I am currently coughing so much, I feel I’m out of air. I’m so stuffy I feel breathless and in general, my physical health is terrible. Of course, that is not to say that my emotional health is any better.

It seems as if life has come to a head for me. All my college work has piled up in a short amount of time, in a higher capacity and quicker than anything has ever been placed on me before. This has resulted in a high amount of stress for me which is not exactly helping my poor wittle immune system. On top of that, my mother decided to have a go at my nerves.

For you faceless readers that are reading this, I don’t like my mother, and she doesn’t like me. That’s the gist of it. She’s constantly miserable through her own doing and isn’t happy unless she’s making someone else miserable. She’s one of those people who you meet once and you think “How on earth does she still have anyone?”

Also, you are not allowed to have emotions, if she’s having emotions. If you dare to be upset, while she’s upset, you’re doing it to make her miserable, according to her. And that is precisely what went wrong today. Today has been one of the most I don’t know what days I’ve ever had.

Because my sister doesn’t go to college when she’s supposed to, the fact that I don’t want to go to college because I’m sick, means that I am immediately doing it to make her life more stressful. Also, because she’s never around or in contact with me while I’m in college, that immediately means that she knows exactly what I do with my time there. So she tells me that I’m not working hard enough and if I actually went to the library, I wouldn’t be so bad.

In fact, mother dear, I have been to the library quite a few times, and in those times, I have put the work needed in. So excuse me for not taking that criticism well.

So that all culminated in many, many tears at college, eventually getting home, which lead to many more tears and quite a bit of hyperventilation.

I wonder is it regular to feel so comfortable divulging this stuff to faceless strangers.

Then I got a piece of advice from the lovely Jamie to watch my favourite movie.

So what do I turn on? But the Wizard of Oz.

And just to prove to you the type of wreck I am at the moment; I cried when it started, because that’s how much I love it.

Also cried at Over The Rainbow. I love this movie so much.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I deserve some pancakes.

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Golden Globeseses Best and Worst Dressed

I knows what I likes and what I don’ts likes is certain dresses.

Like this one:

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A little bit too glitter chicken chic, for me.

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Mmmm… looks a little like a loose knit dress. The cut outs at the sides and back joining up in the middle aren’t super flattering, either.

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Ooooh… You kinda look like a medieval knight. If they worse dresses…

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I like the colour, I like the backlessness, but there’s something hanging off her bum and it looks like a cape for your bum, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing… I thought a train was supposed to be attached to the dress.

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I love you Anne Hathaway, I adore you, you’re one of my favourites, but I really don’t love this dress. She looks fantastic as usual, but the separate bodice from the skirt I find hard to love.

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Whooh. Yeah. The dress looks like a towel with half a belt wrapped around it, the shoes clash and she looks like she put literally no effort into the hair.

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You look like a friggin loofah.

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Obvious reasons, it’s not a glamorous dress, but I commend her for having the balls to go onto the red carpet in something so unexpected. Gowanyagoodting!

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All around, there’s just too much going on.

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I went out with a friend before to a bar/club and she wore something extremely similar to this. She was 18.

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It’s not the 80’s, and it’s a famous awards ceremony. Come on.

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We love you, Debra, we do, but darling, the dress does nothing for you.

Okay, enough bitching, time for best dressed.

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I am a huge fan of mermaid styles, but usually hate the ruched effect, however, this dress is sooo pretty!

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Jennifer Lawrence never fails at anything. Ever. Damn you and your waistline. I drooled at the sight of this dress.

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Usually, I would be a fan of something so low on the chest, but I still adore it, it’s so cute and sweet. But maybe next time, without the dark make-up, I don’t feel it fits.

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I. love. this. dress. I don’t care if she looks like a wallpaper cake, it’s beautiful and so gorgeously strange with hints of old fashioned regal wear.

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This dress is all girly, it a glittery black that pulls in at the waist and makes any onlookers jealous of the waist to hip ratio.

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Aside from the fact that it makes her look a little short, this is super pretty, gives Sarah a good bust and waist and oh my god can you believe she’s 22?

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As the uber-milf in Modern Family, it is simply expected that Sofia turn up looking stunning and she did not disappoint. It’s shiny, hippy and busty.

There were other dresses that I was very divided on, I adored some parts and abhorred others, but that’s about it for my judgmental and opinionated take on dresses. Yay! Also love this picture:

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Life Got In The Way

It got in the way of me updating. I mean to update when I started knitting, when the apocalypse was happening, Christmas, New Years, when I finished my scarf and… life got in the way. XD

Let us try to recap on what has happened in that space in time…

I took up knitting…

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I took up drinking…

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(Cheap drinking)

And I ate more than I thought humanly possible in the last few weeks. Although it wasn’t as bad as last Christmas where I threw up from eating too much. I drank in college the day of the “apocalypse”. I drank the weekend after with my dad, his friend and his two daughters. I drank on Christmas. I drank on New Years Eve.

This year was the first year my mother allowed me to drink with the family on Christmas day. I’m twenty years old. And also it was only immediate family.

New Years Eve, I spent with Jamie and his family, ironically in he same house on the same couch in which he asked me out two years ago over text to the day. I only found it out afterward too.

Last weekend I wend drinking at a friends brothers house and his girlfriend and I made poisonous alcohol smoothies that had coagulated by morning. I also smoked a lot that night… which reminds me, I’m hungry for a fag, brb.

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Okay, sign one that you’re a bit overtired: you raise the lighter to your mouth to light your fag, and there’s no fag in your mouth…

I may also be a little/moderately/very/rather hungover from last night. Last night in which the poison smoothies made a return and I hit a milestone in my drinking career.

I threw up.

All over the bathroom.

Don’t really want to do that again.

Being up at five in the morning where I have the ground floor to myself and a kitchen semi full of food left me to eat everything…

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I got about that far before I never ever wanted to look at food again, at least for another six hours.

But had some good craic. I’m sure there was a point somewhere in this blog. Oh well.

I also got a new laptop hence all the pictures, yay!

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Filed under Computers, Happenings, Rambling, Too Tired to Blog Properly

Sitting At Home Doing Nothing

So yes, I’m home, pretending to study for Christmas exams which are fun and not at all a reason to throw a liter of vodka down my throat.

I have not updated since before Hallowe’en… I think. So, that was good fun. Full of friends, meringue ghosts, and spilling rum all over my debs dress.

I also have a terrible memory, so I can’t actually remember what has happened (if anything) in between then and now.

There was Rainbow Week…

NO

And I had something else on my mind there but I can’t remember what it is. I would also like to point out that when I say I can’t remember things, it’s not because I can’t be arsed but because my brain is a spaztics brain. XD

And now there’s Christmas. Yaaaaaay.

I love Christmas. I do. It’s a time of yay-ness and food. But the preparation is not so good. I am currently in the middle of getting homemade Christmas presents ready which is not fun.

Every year I imagine Christmas to be a happy time full of not giving a shit and being around people you want to be around. I have yet to experience a happy Christmas. It always ends the same with family memebers who will remain nameless complaining and being terrible human beings the same that they are every day of the year. Also counted as the fact they don’t want me leaving the house to be with people I actually want to be with, rather than being forced into unwanted interactions with not-immediate family members that are awkward and drag on forever. Hopefully when I move out and am able to have Christmas my way it’ll be better, but again, I hold out no hope for this year.

Wow…

That turned out to be a lot more passive-aggressive and depressing than I had originally imagined…

Oops! XD

Now children… why don’t we learn something new today? Hmm?

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Never Thought I’d Do This

So right now it’s the last day of September and on the first of October I’ll be starting a new diet/exercise regime for a month.

Let me clarify, I never thought I’d be one of those bloggers who’d do a diet blogging series, because I’m not doing it for attention. If I wanted attention I’d go to Facebook and say something like “OMG I’m so fat I hate myself. Waaaaah.” But no. I also want to make a point now, I am not doing it to look like this:

I am not that unhappy with my appearance. I do love my face, my hips, my bum and my tits. I would just like to get within a healthy BMI range. I will be going no where near underweight, I will be staying within a healthy weight.

Right now, I am 5ft 3″ and 140 pounds, or if you want to go with the better system 160cm and 64kg and that gives me a BMI of 24.9

So I am barely under ‘overweight’. Just barely.

I don’t have a goal weight, seeing as that never really motivates me much. My plan is to diet until Hallowe’en and see what weight I hit. If I reach 57kg (which is 9 stone and I’m currently 10 stone 1) then I’ll stop dieting so drastically and keep that weight. But if I think I look too skinny and yuck, I’ll put up a bit more but keep it under 10 stone. Now I know BMI is a very untrustworthy way of telling where you are, but a the moment it’s all I’ve got. 🙂

I also know the deal with diets. They’re not a permanent solution. They will only work for a long period of time if you permanently change your diet. That’s why you get girls saying things like “OMG I was on this diet for like two weeks and it’s not working!” That’s because they diet and diet and diet for the period of time they’re told to. Then when the diet’s over, they binge. Think about it. If you reduce your calorie intake for two weeks or so, you will lose weight. But if, after that you start taking in the exact same amount of calories you were eating before you dieted, of course you’re going to put it all back up.

The diet will be reduced portions for a month. Then, depending on my weight then, I’ll edit it, to keep the weight down, but not so drastically.

So, diet method: reduce portions, half what I would usually eat each day. Three meals a day and one little snack. If I get hungry in between, I’ll drink water. Lots and lots of water. Will also be walking to and from college as often as possible. There’s a point tomorrow where I will in no way be able to walk, because I’ll have a cake on my lap. A cake which I’m bring in to the OutInUL members meeting. A cake which I baked from scratch and cannot eat. Oh well. I’ll hit obstacles on my way. I’ll also create allowances for drinking every two weeks if not less. And then, only spirits, because they hold the least amount of calories.

Also, I’m poor. Give me money.

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I Hate Macs

Okay, so I haven’t blogged in a good few months… but it wasn’t my fault! I was busy doing extremely important things. Like Playing the new Sims 3 expansion. My current couple are a fairy and a witch. The fairy is  a magician and the witch is an alchemist/gardener… what can I say, I don’t play by the rules.

I don’t have the Plants VS Zombies extra features. 😦 Never played it either, but watched this guyplay it! He’s my favourite Let’s Play-er. XD Here’s a picture of me playing the Sims:

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So what else has happened to me to stop me from blogging? College. College has happened. Schedule’s not too messed up. Had a bit of trouble moving and shifting around Labs that the lecturers didn’t want to keep.
ALSO: Became Health and Safety Officer of OutinUL! Go me! Here’s a picture of me being Health and Safety Officer and in College…
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I’ve been waiting… about a year or so to get on the committee so I don’t feel left out, and now I’m in there… deep deep in there… in so deep I have to kill you now.
Recruitment drive was fun! I’d put pictures up of the amazing thing that was me out society, but I can’t find any anywhere! 😦  I had huge heels, a big poofy dress and a fascinator on… the others had flags…
Also funny thing happened… haven’t been on this thing for two months or so… last time I checked, I had just under 100 or so views could be more or less, I can’t really remember… and now this has happened…

I mean… what the fuck? Did I suddenly get assimilated into the Trueman show or something?!?!?! All I know is they were definitely not that high last time I checked.

OH!!! And please excuse me for being on a Mac. Our course is genuinely being forced to use these overpriced, overhyped, underperforming… things this Semester, so I’m trying to become better acquainted with my enemy…

Here’s a picture of me using a Mac

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My Boyfriend Does My Make-Up

So I’ve been seeing these “My Boyfriend Does My Make-Up Tag” videos floating around YouTube for quite some time now, and I thought why not give it a lash? My first problem was introducing him to the idea. And he seemed to take it well. there were no looks of horror, not even an ‘are you serious?’ look. Just a “Yeah… I suppose.”

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That’s himself there, making paper airplanes…

As we begun, I began to get slightly worried about the implications if it turned out well… the gay jokes would flow in… mainly from Francis. However, those worries were immediately diminished when he picked up my No7 face powder and said. “Is this foundation? I think this is foundation.” He smelled it. “Yeah, this is foundation.” And proceeded to put it on my face. He seemed a bit disappointed about how light the covering was so applied it twice more. “I should put concealer over it…”. “I’m not telling you anything.” I said. I would repeat that line another few times.

He decided against it and picked up face primer called ‘Face Perfecter.’ I thought he was going to put this over the powder, but tested some on his fingers first and exclaimed in indignation “This doesn’t cover anything!”

I stayed silent.

Next, he rummaged through my bag. “I found your foundation.”

He proceeded to squirt out a sizable glob onto his fingers and put it on my forehead. “Oh…” he sniggered. My forehead was well and truly caked, I could feel it. “Oh shit, should I be using my fingers?”

“Whatever you want.” He looked a little wary, but soldiered on, trying to spread it about my face, and placing more on my cheeks, chin, nose and temples. “Oh, I got it on your lips… You belong in Trooms.”  He picked up my blush and applied it, and to be honest, it was very well done.

After this, it was the liquid liner. I really don’t know which I would have preferred, liquid, gel or kohl. I have all three. But I just closed my eyes and begged him not to stab me with it. I could feel him put it on half way up my lid. After a few minutes of silent giggling while he applied it, he said to me; “You look like an Amazonian woman.” At the time I didn’t know if it was good or bad… It was bad. He also applied it on my lower lid.

Next up, he picked eyeshadow. “I’ll give you a nice skangy pink,” he said with his cheeky smile. “Oh thanks.” I replied. In fairness to him, he did use the right brush to apply it…. all the way up to my eyebrow.

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He thought he was done after this, but he spotted my lipsticks. Picking up my dark brown/almost black/looks kinda purple when on, ’17’ lipstick he put it on… Yeah. If you wanna know how that went, here’s a line from him; “I don’t know where your lips end and your skin begins because I’ve covered it in foundation.”

He got it on my teeth. “And a nice big blob of lipgloss… I got some on your fuckin’ cheek.” He smiled.

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I still had not seem myself at this point. “Do you think I’d still get some in Trooms?” I asked. He didn’t answer. I went and looked at myself.

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“I look like I’ve been in Trooms for six hours!”

I asked him for a kiss. He wouldn’t give me one. He told me I look like the Joker in that last picture.

Fair fucks to him, I’d be just as lost if it came to guns instead of make-up, paintball, airsoft or otherwise.

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Paper airplane finished too. That thing hurt when it hit you. XP

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